Warning ahead: homosexual landscape
We all remember when we first realised we were gay and said so to the world. Our own identities as gay men was then all ours, part of our personal DNA.
Then we entered the 鈥榟omosexual landscape鈥�, and became accepted in the world of fun and sex provided we followed rules of behaviour about how we dress, our physical appearance, ways to talk, accepting attitudes towards drugs, booze and negotiating sex.
Once we have changed to fit in, a question now begs 鈥� where is that authentic person who found his own sexual identity?
Take a look at that authentic self now. Is it buried somewhere under an adopted homosexual landscape? Do you hanker to reclaim bits of the old authentic identity?
Is it really psychologically damaging to be a fully immersed in the homosexual landscape? It really depends on how you see yourself and whether you only view your identity by the reflection the homosexual landscape provides. (We use people and environments as a mirror to understand who we are.)
The homosexual landscape, while fun and enjoyable, can be very judgmental, cruel and full of rejection.
So what can you do to protect yourself from the damaging effects of this environment?
Don鈥檛 take it too seriously. Spend time finding the authentic you by doing things outside the homosexual landscape. When you know who you are 鈥� your authentic self 鈥� you can survive the negative effects of gay and straight life.
Finding the authentic self again takes time and effort. However, it is well worth it for a happy and loving gay life. If you can鈥檛 do it yourself, see a qualified and registered counsellor.
Gay life is a gift and can be full of fun and at the same time you can retain positive self-esteem. Then you have the best of both worlds.
Email me at [email protected] about your issues on surviving the homosexual landscape.
INFO: Gerry North is a counsellor, Dip Counselling MACA
When I first came out, I went nuts doing everything I thought a gay man should do. I started calling people sweetie, I dressed in odd clothes, I dyed my hair every imaginable colour, and I wore ridiculously tight t-shirts.
That was in my late teens and early twenties. It took until I turned 30 for my genuine self to emerge, and that was through encountering the bear community.
I wrote about this for Mental Health Awareness Week last year here:
Hi BWC obviously you are having a ball being gay and loving the time as a gay man. Not everyone has the same experience and gay teenagers are 10 times more likely to commit suicide than straight teenagers. Thanks for your comments and I hope readers will be inspired by your positive outlook.
Oh boo-fucking-hoo! I’m sick of being told what a terrible time I’m having as a gay man. Being gay is awesome! You have an instant pass to the cool-kids club, you have the time and freedom that is the envy of all your straight mates, and you get to enjoy dick! Constant wallowing in maudlin self pity is the problem.