Do you accept others as your equal?
Chances are, you don鈥檛. It seems to be an ugly part of the human condition to denigrate those further down the food chain.
The handicapped, the crazy guy at the bus stop, the feral bogans. But with Mardi Gras just around the corner, we come together as a community.
Or do we?
Internalised homophobia is one of those tired idioms, but we do stick to our own. Twinks, lesbians, the gym set, the Bear and leather crowd.
As I mentioned last week, I鈥檓 carrying a few extra kilos at the moment. My winter coat. I鈥檓 fitter, but it hasn鈥檛 entirely gone to plan, and I鈥檝e started falling off the grid since moving from the city. But why should it matter?
Shouldn鈥檛 I be able to wave my fat hands in the air at the Harbour Party too?
What happened to 鈥榃e are Family鈥�?
Judgemental, exclusionary attitudes make it that much harder for GLBT youth to come out. I鈥檓 just as guilty.
I like to think I walk the talk, yet when it comes to the morbidly obese, I can鈥檛 help but wonder if they should be on a treadmill somewhere.
And why do the worst offenders seem to congregate at the gym? Wouldn鈥檛 you think they鈥檇 be pleased to see you there? Yes, the stench of ostracism is rank among the pectoral elite.
Am I jaded, or have our gay ghettos become barren and soulless? The stomping grounds of the millennial A-Gay; cliquey hubs where the right look and circle of 鈥榝riends鈥� take precedence.聽 Anyone who doesn鈥檛 fit in is shunned or derided.
Remind you of anything?
Evidently, we鈥檝e become Mean Girls. Like snippy teenagers embroiled in a popularity m锚l茅e reminiscent of the schoolyard. The pre-op trans woman attracts cruel laughter on her way to the Taxi Club.
We snicker at the dyke with the bad haircut, at the overweight, the balding, the 鈥榤ainstream鈥� 鈥� mocking anyone who doesn鈥檛 cut our pink mustard.
With teens dropping like flies from homophobic bullying, you might forgive me for expecting a little more. I鈥檓 losing the weight. But others will always be targets.
What if we instead harnessed that sense of inclusion and acceptance we seek? Let鈥檚 put on a gangbuster festival and party for the world. One where everyone 鈥� and every colour of the rainbow flag 鈥� is welcome.
We are family … warts and all.
I鈥檓 sorry, Jeremy. I can be a bit of a cynic sometimes.
If it鈥檚 your first Mardi Gras, you should totally get involved.
I know what you mean about feeling on the outer 鈥� especially when coming-out. There may be a judgmental element among the scene, but do you really need the 鈥榓pproval鈥� of people like that?
There are some awesome community groups for GLBTI youth, like Twenty 10. They throw some fantabulous events for same-sex attracted youth, where you can get to know others with similar reservations. And they鈥檙e probably feeling just as daunted as you.
Check-out the below links. What have you got to lose? The world is your oyster!
Hugz and cheers for the comments! xxd
this perfectly describes my current situation trying to fit in on oxford street. i’m 19 and overweight, and i always have been. i am not made to feel welcome nearly everywhere i go where body beautiful guys and designer clothes are all they care about. that is why i like the bears, they at least more down to earth. this is my first m-gras, and i am thinking of not bothering with this “family” at all !
This will not be a popular article. It is a little cynical to suggest we are guilty of bigotry as a community. Perhaps it is about how we choose to look at it??? However it is very possibly true and I applaud the author and your publication for not pulling any punches.
BRAVO!! Thankyou for telling it like it is! We should put on an inclusive Mardi Gras which we can be proud of on a global scale!