LGBTI 鈥� or the queer sandwich, as I prefer to call it 鈥� bacon, lettuce, tomato and gayonnaisse (the “I” is a secret ingredient!) 鈥� refers to the community to which all we non-heterosexuals and gender outlaws belong.
But despite its inclusive intentions, not all the letters in this delicious sanga are made to feel as much a part of the community as the rest.
In this instance, I鈥檓 referring to the Bs. Those dirty bacons who simply can鈥檛 decide which team they bat for 鈥� they鈥檙e here to steal our girlfriends or fuck our blokes, then once they鈥檝e had their fun, go have babies and live a leisurely life of heterosexual privilege. Am I right? (Don鈥檛 say yes.)
These are just some of the biphobic attitudes that exist in society today, and from what my bi friends tell me, are more commonly held by gays and lesbians than our straight mates.
I鈥檓 guilty of this myself. When I had my first girl crush I assumed I was bi as I had a boyfriend at the time. Because I pretty quickly realised boobs were better, I assumed the 鈥渂i now, gay later鈥� motto applied to everyone who鈥檇 experienced a bisexual 鈥榩hase鈥� like me. But it鈥檚 simply not true.
Feelings of love and lust consume us because we鈥檙e powerless to their forces 鈥� and some of us have those feelings, real feelings, for Brad and Angelina.
In our naivety, we Gs and Ls often make biphobic comments out of fear and lack of understanding. It鈥檚 like when your mum, despite having good intentions, says something ridiculously homophobic like 鈥淵ou鈥檙e too pretty to be a lesbian鈥� (errr, thanks Mum).
One of my L pals said she鈥檇 never date a bisexual again because the last one cheated on her with a guy. That鈥檚 like refusing to eat apples because your last Pink Lady was bruised. Just choose more wisely next time.
Bisexuals don鈥檛 exist to titillate straight guys, they鈥檙e not just out for attention and they aren鈥檛 props for bored straight couples to spice up their sex lives 鈥� unless of course they want to be.
We as a queer community must look out for each other in the fight for equality. We do live in a heteronormative world that discriminates against us because of who we love 鈥� so let鈥檚 not make the same mistakes with each other.
By MONIQUE SCHAFTER
[…] A reflection on the treatment of the ‘b’ in lgbti published in Star Observer 1 November. […]
Thanks for this lovely gay ally article. We love it!
great article!
Oh awesome. We so need more of this kind of press in the queer community. Thanks heaps Monique.
Excellent sentiment snappily expressed – gold star for spot-on-ness and succinctitude
Thanks for the nice piece, Monique. We bisexuals do cop a lot of flack, so it’s nice to know we have allies in the gay and lesbian communities. Honestly, I think the bi-haters are a noisy but small minority, and their numbers are shrinking. We’ll get there one day. :)
What else can a say but hear hear! Pink elephant stamp Monique!!
Sally Goldner
Treasurer
Bisexual Allaiance victoria