I鈥檝e had a run of borrowing other gents鈥� men lately. It鈥檚 not something I鈥檝e gone looking for and it鈥檚 not really something I prefer to get involved in.
But if someone is acting to the contrary, how can I be sentenced to gay adultery?
There is a thrill involved, though it鈥檚 momentary, perhaps more so on their side. I wind up feeling sorry for their partner at home/ Arq/ another person鈥檚 place. The people in question for this column are those whose partners don鈥檛 consent to their philandering ways.
I was sent a text the other day stating the times of the day I could communicate and the times of the week a particular gent was free. Fine, I get it, but it鈥檚 not for me. And I鈥檓 not acting all pious either.
As someone who was married, I took the terms of the 鈥榗ontract鈥� explicitly, though deviate from them I did. That鈥檚 a story for another day.
However, the notion that humans can鈥檛 be monogamous inspires me to look at relationships differently these days.
I was in a monogamous relationship with my previous male partner and thoughts of other people, as I once confided with Dr Jim, my shrink at the time, were typical and it was the consequences of those thoughts that mattered most.
Without knowing, Dr Jim tipped the temptation scales by challenging me.
鈥淛ohn, in the gay world, it鈥檚 easy peasy to have sex. It鈥檚 everywhere, it鈥檚 accessible,鈥� he quietly stated in his dimly lit room, and, yes, he actually said 鈥減easy鈥�.
鈥淭he challenge is not resisting what you feel when you walk past a hot guy on the street or walk past a sex-on-premises venue,鈥� he actually paused for effect. 鈥淚t鈥檚 your decision to follow it through or not.鈥�
He was right. Though he wasn鈥檛 so right when he asked me to stop being such a perfectionist and challenged me to send an email with deliberate mistakes in it. Again, another story鈥�
Back to our boy triangle. I鈥檓 not in your relationship, I don鈥檛 know what makes it tick. What is yours is yours and what is mine is mine. And when the dust settles a day or so later, that鈥檚 the way it all boils down anyway.
