Comments on: What does a real lesbian look like? Apparently not like me

By: Ruxxy

Ruxxy — Mon, 19 Jan 2015 08:44:31 +0000

As an old poof I can spot a dyke at fifty, nay, a hundred paces (especially since I’ve had my cataracts done). I could do this before they even got tatts and the piercings. It wasn’t even the ultra short haircuts, denim and no makeup that was the giveaway – I guess it just means my gaydar has been working pretty well. As for the lipstick ones – they are easy to spot too…they are the ones who look a bit different to the butch ones but they mix with them just the same.

Isn’t it great, nowadays? We can all look as individual as we like – its just a pity that there are so many of us great chunks of us (gals and guys) can tend to look a lot like each other – and don’t get me started on vego’s and vegans!

By: Bitsy

Bitsy — Mon, 19 Jan 2015 02:36:16 +0000

Attire phobia is still alive and well, unfortunately. I’m so sick and tired of being told I don’t look “lesbian” by other lesbians. Sometimes I wonder if our own worst enemies aren’t ourselves.

By: M'kali-Hashiki

M'kali-Hashiki — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 21:47:51 +0000

I’m a Femme. Yes sometimes clueless straight people are surprised that I’m a dyke. But I certainly don’t denigrate Butches by calling the term “deplorable” in response. Sounds like the author has some unexamined internalized homophobia.

By: Rope

Rope — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 05:40:36 +0000

Deplorable label? Butch and proud here.

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By: evie shoemaker

evie shoemaker — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 13:11:26 +0000

Once people find out about me they always say I never would have guessed or you don’t look gay. It is really annoying. I am not hiding my sexuality in fact most people know about it now. I just like wearing makeup, dresses and doing my hair. There is nothing wrong with that. I also want that type of girl in my life again nothing wrong with that. I do not want to have a man in my life or a woman that personifies a man. I’m not degrading those that do that is their choice but I understand this article. If you are a girly girl you tend to have people question your sexuality when you come out to them.

By: Justine Bedser

Justine Bedser — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 05:12:21 +0000

In reply to Tina Cullen. I completely agree with this! It's so misinterpreted and moulded into boxes that people think they need to fit which is unfortunate!

By: Lynne Hudson

Lynne Hudson — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 03:38:02 +0000

Great article.

By: Tina Cullen

Tina Cullen — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 22:25:23 +0000

Justine Bedser this is what we were discussing!

By: Ebon J

Ebon J — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 14:23:03 +0000

In reply to Emma Waye. Agreed!

By: Ebon J

Ebon J — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 14:09:54 +0000

This is just your opinion based on the world that you live in. Butch is not a “deplorable label” it’s how I feel within and I have felt this way since I was a child. Butch is only a word to describe how I present my gender identity and the things that I associate with the world around me, which happen to be male identified. This article about “attire-phobia” is written by someone that is also attire-phobic. I mean seriously don’t we have enough phobias without someone making a new one up every day? Oh and yes, I love femmes.

By: Kathleen Healy

Kathleen Healy — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 10:53:45 +0000

I don’t think it was calling our beautiful butches deplorable but rather that our society feels the need to further compartmentalise us based on appearance.

By: Lily Rose

Lily Rose — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 10:46:54 +0000

In reply to Lily Rose. So, not like the way the author discredited butch women by calling their identity deplorable?

By: Nikki Jordan

Nikki Jordan — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 01:29:15 +0000

What does a straight person look like? Who cares? We are just people.

By: Emma Waye

Emma Waye — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 01:19:34 +0000

You know the wonderful thing about people learning about binary and non-conformity is that some people get this deluded thought process that, to use an identifier which apparently polarises is some kind of wrong.
Which in itself is fucking hilarious.

So someone identifies as Butch, Stone, Femme, Lipstick, Chapstick? Why does it even fucking matter when it’s how THEY identify, and it sure as hell isn’t something to discredit a female loving females.

By: Emma Waye

Emma Waye — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 01:15:38 +0000

In reply to Lily Rose. Lily, some lesbians still use it as their identifier. No need to discredit any identifiers by using such a sweeping generalisation as: "we call ourselves femme". :/

By: Sophie

Sophie — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 00:43:15 +0000

I do get that a lot of people find comfort in the butch/femme labels but I sort of agree with this article in how it points out that the labels are really problematic, but I suppose that’s because straight people have misunderstood the queer lady community and turned the labels into something problematic. Still you always hear about how butches can’t get jobs, are abused/assaulted, etc but you never hear about the other side of the coin (even though statistically feminine people are more likely to experience these things?) So I dunno, I find it refreshing to hear about the other side for a change.

By: Natalie Mermaid

Natalie Mermaid — Mon, 13 Oct 2014 23:17:21 +0000

Being butch isn’t “deplorable.” Neither is being any other gender identity. It’s totally great there are lesbians out there who don’t express or own or identify with any measure of gender-nonconformity, but while your goals for the community may feel liberating to you, they feel oppressive to me. In fact, I avoid much of “lesbian community” for the seeming de facto anti-butch and anti-femme stance many have. And btw butch and femme aren’t sexual positions. They are gender identities. The existence of butches or “lipstick lesbians” in no way negates people who are neither. There is room for all of us. You don’t have to diminish one segment of the community to embrace the segment you fit into.

By: Sharon Harnett

Sharon Harnett — Mon, 13 Oct 2014 21:01:12 +0000

In reply to Anastasia Beaverhausen. Props for reference to Will & Grace ;-)

By: Lily Rose

Lily Rose — Mon, 13 Oct 2014 20:39:10 +0000

In reply to Lily Rose. I think you've missed the most important point in all the comments - calling butch deplorable. Also, lipstick lesbian is a term coined by 90's media, we call ourselves femme.