I wonder how it feels to be the last guy a girl dates before she comes out as a lesbian.
Gold star gays are few and far between, so chances are you鈥檝e been that girl who discovered her inner-gayness while dating a dude 鈥� then smashed his heart, made him question his masculinity, and forced him to have uncomfortable conversations with his mates about what went wrong. The poor guy is probably still copping shit about it.
Not that that鈥檚 your fault. But heartbreak of any kind sucks ass.
Imagine it happened to that guy more than once? One of my ex-boyfriends had a taste for tomboys en route to Lesbos. His girls turned gay so frequently he eventually learned to laugh about it.
It鈥檚 unfortunate that guys in this situation become the butt of jokes because, in actual fact, the last guy a lesbian dates is generally the best guy of the lot.
My last boyfriend was a total legend. Smart, cute, funny, excellent taste in music, great style; all the things you鈥檇 want in a partner. But alas I felt no spark. Over the course of that (rather platonic) relationship, I learnt that if I wasn鈥檛 going to work with him, it wasn鈥檛 going to work with any dude.
I guess it鈥檚 one of the rare occasions where the clich茅, 鈥淚t鈥檚 not you, it鈥檚 me鈥� is actually true. Not that it makes it any easier to hear. But to all the straight guys who鈥檝e been down that path, it鈥檚 important for you to know that being dropped by a girl for another girl, is more often than not, a wonderful compliment.
Guys don鈥檛 turn girls gay. Some guys are just there at that time in a girl鈥檚 development where she realises something fundamental about herself. Often it鈥檚 because she鈥檚 finally in a good, safe, healthy place to work stuff out. And after the heartache that follows any break up, you鈥檝e potentially got a best mate for life.
I occasionally feel sorry for the guys I dated, and broke up with, well before I鈥檇 seen the light of gay. One day we鈥檇 be pashing behind the high school canteen, the next day I鈥檇 tell them I wasn鈥檛 feeling it and wanted out. Simple as that. Leaving them sad, angry and incredibly confused.
I had no awareness of the pain they were feeling, simply because I鈥檇 never been in love. Not even teenage 鈥渓ove鈥�. It was only when I fell for a girl in my early 20s that I realised how fragile and totally melodramatic the heart can be.
I often wonder if it鈥檚 worth tracking down those dudes and apologising for the brutal way I dropped them. At least the last boyfriend knew it was me, not him. Well except for that Y chromosome.
