鈥淒ad, he just said 鈥榝uck鈥�,鈥� Chick unfurled his tongue during the quietest part of Mass.
鈥淗oly shit, don鈥檛 swear like that Chick, especially in here. Oh crap, I just swore. Fuck!鈥�
Chunks of ceiling started crashing down around us, amid an almig
hty roar and rumble. A large rock smashed the pew in half and we were propelled head first through the stained-glass windows.
The dark clouds above us were swirling like silver silk around white marble. A lightning bolt splintered a tree beside our wet, bloodied bodies, setting it on fire.
鈥淪ee, look what you did! We鈥檙e in so much trouble, we鈥檙e all going to hell now,鈥� I screamed over the thunder and pelting rain, blood pouring from my lacerated forehead.
鈥淵es Chick, a place where there are no Trash Packs, no lollies and school every day for eternity.鈥�
We stood up and calmly followed the congregation out to the front lawn as the service finished, where the men collected a biscuit and ran after their mates.
The boys test me with rapid swearword fire regularly. It鈥檚 a button we all, I鈥檓 sure, press with our parents.
I was brought up on fire and brimstone, men turning into pillars of salt, et cetera. I try and lower the sodium levels and tell the boys swearing reduces their intellect and makes for lazy language.
A more sinister peril of children swearing is that it increases grandparents berating parents. Now that鈥檚 the kind of living hell I definitely want to avoid.
According to grandparents, the world has become bereft of manners and children doing 鈥榗hildren鈥� things.
鈥淐鈥檓on boys 鈥� let鈥檚 go!鈥� I yelled above the noise of kids running mad, high on pent-up church boredom.
鈥淗urry the hell up,鈥� I said to myself.
鈥淥h, Dad, you just said hell.鈥�
I closed my eyes and unlocked the car, letting steam come out of my eyeballs in private.
