今日吃瓜

There has been much debate about whether the word “gay” being used in an insult is considered offensive anymore. Especially in the context of sport.听Below is a piece by self-confessed NRL fan Rebecca Shaw, which 鈥斅燼 day before Miranda Devine’s controversial column for 今日吃瓜 Corp’s mastheads. Add your two cents worth to the debate with a comment below.

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ON sports site The Roar (which I read regularly and follow on Twitter, being a sports-loving lesbian), “expert”聽contributor Ryan O鈥機onnell (who I also follow on Twitter, but who has never followed me back but that has nothing to do with this, that is a different failing) wrote about an incident in the NRL . Blues player Mitchell Moses was caught calling opposition player Luke Bateman 鈥渁 f*cking gay c**t鈥�. Even though Bateman did not wish to make an official complaint, the NRL review investigated and the outcome was a two-match suspension for Moses. He was also ordered to undergo an anti-vilification education and awareness program. Great, right? The NRL (not historically known for its progressive politics) acting swiftly to show young players that homophobic language is unacceptable, and attempting to educate them to be better in the future.

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鈥�Though I applaud the stance, and fully support it, there鈥檚 just one little problem: no one was discriminated against. Bateman is not gay. So the slur was technically nothing more than foul language. Moses can be accused of being boorish and ignorant, but it鈥檚 not exactly accurate to call him a 鈥榟omophobe鈥�.

Don鈥檛 get me wrong, what he said was unacceptable and he should be punished for it. As the NRL had recently held a press conference with other major Australian sporting organisations to announce they were committed to ensuring homophobic slurs were not part of their sports, they most definitely needed to act upon the incident.

But the context in which the comment was made suggests Moses should really be punished under the category of being a neanderthal and using unacceptable language, rather than being anti-gay. If you want evidence of this, read the slur again and notice which words are censored. It will give you an indication of the truly offensive part of the comment.

I asked a gay friend if the sledge offended him, and though only a sample of one, his response was, 鈥淣ot really. Not in that context. He鈥檚 basically just calling the other player a girl, isn鈥檛 he?鈥�

That response should help add a little perspective to the incident. While there should be no room in the game for homophobic slurs, and the battle for equality starts by making such comments unacceptable, let鈥檚 not overreact either.”

Firstly, I am quite confused as to what he is even arguing here. The NRL had to act because of their anti-homophobia stance, but it wasn鈥檛 homophobic, it was just bad language. In any case, I do know what he is saying below, and it is way off base:

鈥�Though I applaud the stance, and fully support it, there鈥檚 just one little problem: no one was discriminated against. Bateman is not gay. So the slur was technically nothing more than foul language. Moses can be accused of being boorish and ignorant, but it鈥檚 not exactly accurate to call him a 鈥榟omophobe'” 聽

Well, this could just not be more wrong. Language does not work like that, and as a writer, I am surprised Ryan is so confused about this. Homophobic language does not only exist when it is directed at a gay person鈥檚 gay ears. Moses was not calling his opponent foul names and then dropped the word 鈥榞ay鈥� in there as something unrelated and positive. He meant to insult Bateman. He used the word gay, the word that I identify with, as an insult. To tear someone else down. That is homophobic. 100 per cent case closed, blow the whistle, game over, other sports things, etc.

If you still don鈥檛 quite get it, let me tell you a little story about a terrified closeted 17-year-old Rebecca. I was staying at my favourite aunt and uncle鈥檚 house for the weekend. I loved them, and felt comfortable with them. They were young and cool and accepting and progressive. We had a great night, and at the end of the night I planned on having them be the first people I came out to, hopefully giving me the courage to then come out to everyone. I remember the exact moment. I was sitting on the stairs with my aunty when my uncle (who was inside drunk) started talking about bands and music and performers. I was laughing and excited and dying of nerves and happy and then I heard my Uncle say the word 鈥榝aggot鈥�. Now Ryan, he wasn鈥檛 saying it to me. He wasn鈥檛 saying it at any gay person. It was just a throwaway word that I assume he didn鈥檛 think anything of, and probably doesn鈥檛 remember that night, let alone that moment.

And yet 14 years later, I remember it clearly. My stomach dropped, my face flushed, I felt cold run through my veins. My excited nerves turned to dread. I completely shut down. And do you know what happened? I didn鈥檛 come out to anyone until I was 20 years old. That moment stopped me feeling safe to come out for聽three years.听That throwaway line, that Ryan would argue was not homophobic, made me feel like my uncle hated people like me. That I couldn鈥檛 even trust that the people I thought would be totally okay with me being a lesbian to accept me when I told them. It made me feel l didn鈥檛 belong anywhere. Extend that to closeted men. Extend that to closeted young men in macho environments. Extend that to closeted young men who love NRL. Imagine the repercussions something like that could have.

Language is power. That is why I took Ryan’s response so seriously and am responding here. He is someone that gets to use language to influence people, to make a difference. 聽It does not matter what Ryan鈥檚 gay friend thinks. It especially doesn鈥檛 matter what they think if their opinion is that it isn鈥檛 offensive because it鈥檚 just like Moses was calling Bateman a girl. That is a whole new problem. Comparing someone to a woman should not be an insult. It is sexist. Again, I don鈥檛 see how this confuses anyone.

I am glad that Ryan鈥檚 gay friend wasn鈥檛 personally offended, I am glad they are so comfortable and secure. But that isn鈥檛 the point. The point is that the NRL is trying to stamp out homophobic language, and what Moses said was absolutely homophobic. He might not hate gay people, but what he said was homophobic. He might think gay people should have equal rights,聽but what he said was homophobic.听I can keep saying it all day, and it will keep being true. I can’t take Ryan’s word for it that Moses is not a homophobe. The only thing I have to base my opinion on is that Moses uses gay slurs to insult people. I hope that this is a learning experience for him and that he is more careful about what he says in the future, because this is not about if Ryan is offended, or Ryan鈥檚 gay friend is offended, or if I am offended. This is about a wider issue, and making sure everyone feels safe and included to be involved with the sport they love.

(Editor’s note: The Roar.)

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Rebecca Shaw is a freelance writer, co-host of the comedy podcast Bring a Plate. She tweets at聽

She also wrote in light of Miranda Devine’s column today.