As the weather is starting to warm up I thought I鈥檇 offer you a Tomboy鈥檚 Guide To Summer: How to keep cool in a season where your cleavage-enhancing swimwear options may not necessarily reflect your personal style, where your flowing locks of prized yet impractical underarm hair cause a political dilemma and, finally, where to get wet.
Let鈥檚 start with bathers. If, like me, you鈥檙e the kind of lady who heads straight to the menswear section of department stores, it sucks that you end up feeling like a dragged-up member of The Footy Show when you go swimming.
For those of us blessed with boobs, there are hundreds of floral, frilly, push-up bikinis to choose from, or on the other hand, super-daggy, hardcore triathlete gear, neither of which feels quite right for a relaxed day at the beach.
No wonder so many chicks rock the makeshift boardies-and-singlet combo! I鈥檓 totally hanging for a line of swimwear that鈥檚 stylish, quick-dry and awesomely androgynous.
Next, body hair 鈥� to mow or grow? We鈥檙e all naturally hairy beasts, and those of us who take pride in propagating our more intimate tufts are often torn come summertime on what to do. Swimwear provides a catwalk for pubes and most of us aren鈥檛 fierce enough to strut our pit and punani fur gowns down the runway.
But does removing it mean you鈥檝e succumbed to the patriarchy, or simply shed your winter coat as nature intended? Ponder that one in the bath tonight.
While we tomboys face our fair share of summer dilemmas, thankfully there are some pretty fun places to get wet. For anyone who hasn鈥檛 been to Sydney鈥檚 Coogee Women鈥檚 Baths, it鈥檚 basically a lez bar on the beach. You go to perve, pick up and swim if you really must. On weekends it鈥檚 packed with tattooed scenesters swigging Coronas and a few Muslim ladies sunning their immaculate skin in a testicle-free zone. It鈥檚 not too dissimilar to Melbourne鈥檚 Brunswick Baths, which from memory resembles a lesbian soup on particularly hot evenings.
As it鈥檚 only October I hope this gives you sufficient time to plan your summertime adventures. See you at the beach (possibly looking like a bikini-clad footballer unless I find a better option).
By MONIQUE SCHAFTER
