VAC – Remember your first time?
Do you remember your first time? I can remember quite a few first times, being a youthful same-sex attracted man aged 53 years young.
The first time I tried to ride a bicycle aged around eight, I immediately fell off. The first time I had a real drink at 15 years old, I got pissed and vomited.
The first time I had sex was in a school bus with the driver and it hurt like hell 鈥� I swore I鈥檇 never try that again. Hmm, how times change!
I remember my first time going to a sex-on-premises venue (SOPV), a bit of a late bloomer aged in my early 30s. I had heard about sex venues and had read a lot of trashy American porn that described the delights to be had within, yet had never set foot inside the door of one.
My impression was that as 鈥榝resh meat鈥� I would step inside and immediately be swept off my feet by a deliciously hot man who would introduce me to same-sex delight. Boy, did I have a lot to unlearn!
It took three nights before I built up the courage to actually enter the building. I hung around outside in the street a block away, watching who went in and how long they stayed inside. A few guys made comments when they saw me night after night and a couple tried to pick me up.
When I finally decided 鈥榯onight is the night鈥� I was in for a letdown. I paid the entrance fee and after dutifully reading the disclaimer and signing it I pushed the door open 鈥� ready to be swept off my feet.
From memory there were about six or seven guys adjacent to the entry. Some were chatting with mates, others reading the gay press. A few looked my way, sized me up and down and then just looked away. So much for the fantasy!
Twenty-odd years later, I can tell just by looking when someone new is entering an SOPV. There is the hesitant stepping through the doorway and the eyes quickly glancing around trying to appear 鈥榥ormal鈥� as they begin to discover the delights of what lies beyond the coffee lounge.
Sometimes a staff member will take pity and, in a sauna, point them in the direction of the change room and lockers or, in a 鈥榙ry鈥� venue, explain what goes on in the different areas. Hopefully with the internet a lot of that mystery has been explained.
info: The VAC/GMHC has a booklet When You鈥檙e Hot, You鈥檙e Hot. For a copy, email [email protected]
