今日吃瓜

Radio and online producer Mitchell Coombs on growing up queer in rural Bogan Gate and why Margaret Court has the wrong idea about Australian farmers.

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Dear Margaret Court: 鈥渢he farmers鈥� aren鈥檛 who you think they are.

I was recently at a friend鈥檚 21st birthday party when I ran into a guy I went to school with, who now identifies as queer.

I thought, 鈥楪reat, now we have something in common 鈥� being queer in the country and how hard that is. If I get stuck for conversation, I can talk to him about that.鈥�

However, after we started to chat, I found out that our experiences had been completely different. As a young queer boy in the country, he had been totally chilled about it, while I was petrified.

He didn鈥檛 care who knew, while I had been paranoid. And he had stood up to the homophobia he had experienced, whereas I would have run a mile.

It鈥檚 only now after having lived in Sydney for three years that I鈥檝e become comfortable enough to express myself 鈥� but even then, when I go back home to Bogan Gate in Central West NSW, I often find myself putting my hands in my pockets so no-one can see my painted nails.

I was totally in awe of the fact that my old schoolmate was able to live so freely and confidently while still living in a rural area.

I thought, how is that possible? Why didn鈥檛 he have the same experiences as I did?

I looked back and thought about it, and truly, I don鈥檛 have any scarring memories that spring to mind. I was an exuberant little shit who blasted Kylie Minogue songs on the reg.

When other boys were kicking footballs and playing with toy trucks, I was playing with Bratz dolls, wearing tutus and begging my sister to let me do her hair.

For the record, I recognise that not all queer people are gender non-conforming and it鈥檚 absolutely possible for a male to like 鈥榞irly鈥� stuff and still be straight.

But in my case, the stereotype was completely accurate. I was FLAMBO AF and have turned out QUEER AF.

I don鈥檛 for a second think this makes me special or different 鈥� we鈥檝e all heard the narrative a million times. But where I do consider myself extremely lucky is that I never had an adult tell me I couldn鈥檛 do those things or be who I wanted to be.

Not my parents, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, family friends, or neighbours. And yet, even though I was raised in a completely supportive environment, I was still petrified about coming out.

Why? I truly believe it鈥檚 because other people put those doubts in my head.

The question I get asked most about my childhood is: 鈥淲hat was it like being gay in Bogan Gate? Must鈥檝e been awful.鈥�

And I get it – rural areas have a reputation for being more homophobic than metropolitan areas. There鈥檚 plenty of data to back this up and I鈥檓 not for a second trying to dismiss that, nor other people鈥檚 experiences.

I鈥檓 not about to say 鈥渃ountry people aren鈥檛 homophobic because they haven鈥檛 been to me.鈥�

I鈥檓 not that naive. I realise my luck in having kick-ass parents and a solid support network.

Rather, the reason I鈥檓 writing this is to urge Australia not to underestimate rural people鈥檚 capacity to be accepting and open-minded. It saddens me that farmers are often written off as bigots by default.

Many of you would remember back in May when tennis 鈥榣egend鈥� Margaret Court wrote an open letter saying she wouldn鈥檛 fly with Qantas after they publicly backed marriage equality. Naturally, she copped a lot of backlash.

Appearing in a television interview, Margaret highlighted the everyday people she believed were against marriage equality, saying: 鈥淭here are many people out there, normal people, farmers, mums, and dads鈥︹��

It didn鈥檛 end there.

鈥淲e do have a view and we鈥檝e not been allowed to say why we really believe that marriage is between a man and a woman,鈥� she said.聽鈥淢any non-Christians agree with me, the farmers, just ordinary people.”

The farmers, the farmers, the farmers鈥� she kept going on about them.

I want to know, who does Margaret Court think farmers are?

Is she referring to the same farmers that would ask McDonald鈥檚 to swap my boys toy for a girls toy?

The same farmers that drove seven hours to take me to see Lady Gaga live? The same farmers that wouldn鈥檛 push any further when I refused to help with sheep work, lest I ruin my nails? Soz Margaret, try again sweetie.

Also, why does she keep grouping 鈥渢he farmers鈥� in with ordinary people?

Approximately 80 per cent of the Australian population live within 50 kilometres of a coastline. Farmers are practically a minority in their own right.

Margaret Court thinks she鈥檚 sticking up for everyday Aussie battlers (chucking a Tracy Grimshaw, if you will) but she鈥檚 achieving the opposite.

My parents, for one, find it offensive that she鈥檚 implied that all farmers are narrow-minded conservatives.

I鈥檓 sure I don鈥檛 need to explain to you that Margaret Court is problematic as heck. Country people are not who she depicts them to be.

Aside from their penchant for unflattering workwear and general tolerance of dirt, they鈥檙e everything I aspire to be.

They鈥檙e grounded, friendly, resilient, trustworthy, willing to help each other out, and they sure as hell don鈥檛 care about the amount of Instagram likes they get.

Country people are the most decent humans you鈥檒l ever meet. And sure, there are homophobes in the country, but unfortunately, they鈥檙e everywhere.

So please, do not buy into the stereotype.