Depression is not a dirty word – it’s time to start talking about it
WE all feel sad, moody or low from time to time, but some people experience those feelings intensely, for longer periods – weeks, months or even years – and sometimes without any apparent reason.
Depression is more than just a low mood; it’s a serious condition that affects your physical and mental health.
I want to share my story with depression in the hope it could save someone from committing suicide. Depression came crashing into my life like a wrecking ball in 2009. I was living in Melbourne and wasn鈥檛 out to my family.
That year I had lost my godfather and grandmother to cancer, six months later I had broken up with my partner of two years, had my appendix removed, quit my job because of bullying and my father passed away from a heart attack.
I was struggling to get up in the mornings, I had little energy but when someone would ask me how I was feeling, the answer would be ‘I鈥檓 doing okay’. As human that鈥檚 the first thing you say right? I never wanted anyone to know I was weak.
I also found people who haven鈥檛 suffered from depression have a tough time understanding it, so I didn鈥檛 want to share what I was feeling with them.
It鈥檚 very difficult to understand something you haven鈥檛 been through. I鈥檝e had plenty of loved ones try hard to understand it, but I couldn鈥檛 rightfully expect that they鈥檇 know how I felt just like I can鈥檛 expect to know exactly how a cancer patient feels, or how someone who lost their child feels. All I can offer is empathy and com- passion, and that鈥檚 all I can ever expect from anyone else.
When I was feeling bereft of all hope and human connection, I would be on social media looking at pictures of other people partying and having fun living so free and happy, this wasn鈥檛 the best idea.
If you have low self-esteem (as almost anyone with depression does), seeing other people鈥檚 expertly crafted and deliriously happy-looking online personas tend to perpetuate these feelings. This isn鈥檛 just my perspective, they鈥檝e done lots of research that demonstrates Facebook makes us unhappy.
It stunts our real-life social interactions, it makes us envious of others (instead of grateful for what we鈥檝e got), we hardly ever see anyone posting that they are down or struggling, we only ever see photo shopped photos, happy relationships so of course we think what鈥檚 wrong with me?
Why can鈥檛 I be like them? I can tell you Facebook doesn鈥檛 tell you the truth, don鈥檛 believe everything you see.
Over the past two years I have lost a few friends to suicide. every time I spoke to them and asked how they were, I got the typical response 鈥測eah I鈥檓 going good鈥�. It breaks my heart to think they couldn鈥檛 be open with me and tell me they were in pain. Studies have found that LGBTI youth attempt suicide more than three times more frequently than their heterosexual counterparts.
Our community really needs to start talking about depression more and we need to let everyone know it鈥檚 okay to have depression… that you鈥檙e not alone even though you think you are.
It鈥檚 okay to tell people you鈥檙e struggling, it doesn鈥檛 make you weak.
We must fight this epidemic through reaching out, understanding, empathising and supporting people.
It鈥檚 critical to remember that the more openly people talk about suicide and homosexual suicide and the less stigma people feel around the issues, the more people can successfully fight back against LGBT suicide.
If you or someone you love is in crisis or needs support right now, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467.
