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The 35^th Mardi Gras festival and parade is upon us.  We can debate many things about the parade and party, but one thing we all know for sure is that its beginnings come from not only 1978-ers but several thousand years previous, to the Greek gods – some of whom are attending this weekend.

Dionysus is the Greek god of wine and ecstasy.  He’s a personal favourite of mine. Dion is a son of Zeus and is celebrated for his libido and gratification and being described at times as ‘man-womanish’.  Partial to a bit of theatre too our Dion, so he’s probably the best fit for patron of our festival.

Enter another Greek god Silenus.  Silenus was Dionysus’ tutor and older mate – let’s just say Silenus was Dion’s father figure as big daddy Zeus has some serious work on over at Mt Olympus.

Dion and his best mate Silenus were complete piss heads, drinking to the point of oblivion. They prophesised and probably made up stuff whilst completely wankered. Not only did they know how to make wine, but – wait for it, they discovered an orgasm that could make a person mad.

Yes, I know, I know.  Two drunk guys getting it on repeatedly so they can perfect an orgasm.  Now, none of the literature I checked told me who they practiced on or how they accomplished such a task.  Given Silenus was completely sloshed the entire time and was moved about by a donkey, one can only put two and two together before you start to realise where the phrase ‘hung like a Jerusalem donkey’ comes from.  (It sounds better with Jerusalem than Olympian donkey – oh never mind).

Suffice to say, whilst we dislodge chunks of glitter from our eyelashes this year at the party, we should spare a thought for our Silenus and Dion… this is starting to sound like a certain Canadian songstress.

Now that I mention it, some of our other goddesses have appeared at parades from time to time.  Aphrodite appeared last year and turned the place on its head.

Speaking of whom I shall add, I am yet to receive notice of an Anti-Tour Live CD for sale.  I mean, how can one mortal survive without such an elixir?

Wishing you all a funtabulous, fig eating, wine swilling Mardi Gras.

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