Gosford’s pro-marriage equality priest: why I won鈥檛 wed gay couples
AN聽Anglican priest who has championed the cause of marriage equality has caused consternation in his congregation by revealing he would refuse to wed gay couples 鈥� even if same-sex marriage were to be legalised.
Father Rod Bower, of the Anglican Parish of Gosford on NSW鈥檚 Central Coast, has made headlines nationwide and received thousands of social media followers due to his eye catching and provocative slogans posted outside his church on a range of issues from immigration and the environment to marriage equality.
The signs include those聽stating “72 per cent of Australians now support marriage equality” and “everyone should have the rite [sic] to be married”. One even congratulated a lesbian couple who had wed in Melbourne.
However, a former member of the church has told the Star Observer聽that a number of parishioners left after Bower revealed that, even after a change in the law, he would not be able to perform marriage ceremonies for same sex couples.
One of those parishioners is Gosford local Donna Evans, who attended the church for six months.
鈥淭hey call themselves progressive Christians but I鈥檓 not sure what鈥檚 progressive about talking the talk but not walking the walk,” she told the Star Observer.
鈥淭he moment I heard it from him first hand, I stopped going. I just couldn鈥檛 handle the hypocrisy.鈥�
Father Bower said while he would like to be able to marry gay couples, Anglican doctrine would prevent him from doing so.
鈥淧eople feel this is a contradiction. I don鈥檛, I鈥檓 part of a family and I like my family,” he said.
“Even if I don鈥檛 agree with everything they say we have enough in common to keep us together.鈥�
Evans said Father Bower should do more to challenge the Anglican hierarchy鈥檚 views and if that failed, he should consider setting up an independent church.
鈥淢any gay people decide to leave their families if they don鈥檛 accept them, he should leave the church if they don鈥檛 accept same-sex marriage,” she said.
Father Bower said聽little would be gained if he left the Anglican fold.
鈥淭here would be a splash on the paper and that would be the last you hear from Rod Bower because I鈥檇 lose my platform forever,”he told the Star Observer.
鈥淚 know that for the people it effects personally it鈥檚 all consuming but it鈥檚 not the only issue we鈥檙e concerned with and, to be blunt, when people are committing suicide in detention camps there are other issues which are a little more pressing.
鈥淚鈥檓 interested in being part of the conversation rather than packing my bags because at our best we do wonderful things.鈥�
Father Bower added that聽he was a well-known campaigner within and outside the church on LGBTI issues and had even been labelled a “sodomite activist” by his critics.
鈥淪o to say I haven鈥檛 advocated for marriage equality is a bit unfair,” he said.
This weekend, the Gosford priest will give the sermon at the gay-welcoming Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) in Sydney鈥檚 inner west.
He said there was no need for a specific church focused on gay people within the Diocese of Newcastle 鈥� in which his parish fell 鈥� due to the more relaxed attitude of the Anglican hierarchy in that area.
However, he said it was a 鈥渟ad indictment of the rest of the church鈥� that many Sydney gay Anglicans only felt comfortable worshiping at MCC.
鈥淚n the Diocese of Sydney they say gay people are welcome but they鈥檙e welcome as long as you deny what you are which is such an unhealthy message to send out,” Father Bower said.
Pastor Sam Grebert, from the LGBTI-affirming New Covenant Pentecostal church, said he was 鈥渧ery much in favour of committed long term relationships and we鈥檇 love to see same sex marriage in Australia”.
New Covenant already has a base in Sydney鈥檚 inner west but .
鈥淧eople have this idea of gay people only being in the city but in the last 12 months we鈥檝e had people call us from Parramatta and the Hills so we鈥檙e here precisely because it鈥檚 the bible belt,” Grebert said.
Openly gay himself, Grebert also told the Star Observer he would welcome the opportunity to conduct same sex wedding ceremonies and聽his church had more ability to make their own decisions.
鈥淏ecause we鈥檙e independent we鈥檝e got a lot more freedom then in a mainstream church and that鈥檚 the issue with more established churches – they don鈥檛 have that freedom,” he said.
Father Rod Bowder will be the guest speaker at at 6.30pm Sunday, September 28 at 96 Crystal St, Petersham.
will hold services every month in Castle Hill launching 6pm, Sunday, September 28 at the Castle Hill Community Centre, 1-17 Castle St, Castle Hill.
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Of course Rod Bower won’t leave the Anglican Church it is what legitimises his position and it is not like he can do anything else.
He now opposes same-sex marriage, because the ACL paid him under the table to oppose same-sex marriage!
I’ll mention your views on another circulation in future as you won’t print mine. Goodbye!
Lordy – FFSAKE – YOU lot have really made an arse of yourself…
I was bought up in the early years with catholic ideology. In later years, the anglican. It’s all christianity to me. May I say – this man has done more for christian beliefs than anyone else. He’s a man who welcomes our differences – and yes – there are many.
Be good to one and other – reserve judgement. Be a good human.
This shows there has been no real debate on the issue. For example, why do people of faith get to double-dip?
1. By going throught the rites of their religion.
2. Getting a certificate of marriage from the government.
Marriage in the civil sense has changed so much that giving-it-to-the-gays is tokenistic and insulting. Surely it’s time marriage went away altogether. Especially given the embarrasing divorce rate. I even heard that the lesbian couple who who poster girls for the New Zealand campaign didn’t last a year together.
In the absence of marriage laws religions can go on conducting ceremonies under their own rules as section 116 of the Constitution* allows. People who practice no religion would be free to do whatever they like. True equality is in that sort of freedom from government sanctions.
*There’s nothing in the Australian Constitution about sex, sexuality or gender. That is why religions always have an upperhand on these issues.
Maybe Father Rod Bower has joined in with ISIS and WBC?
Living in Tonystain (Australia) – I feel embarrassed and ashamed that my country cannot join the rest of the western world in allowing marriage equality legally. Some parts of Mexico and the US, UK, Canada, New Zealand, Spain, Portugal, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, France, etc all allow marriage equality 鈥� it is time Australia stopped being petty and really move on from this issue for goodness sake!
When I and my partner win $1 million on Keno (numbers picked are 1, 10, 19, 31, 33, 39, 44, 69, 71 and 80), I will be moving to Norfolk Island and permanently living there because they will soon have it!
I am sick and tired of Australia, it is not what is was in the past were people were given a fair go and now with a Government so corrupt and every single news story being about murders, shootings and terrorism acts 鈥� I am moving to Norfolk Island!
Father Rod’s position on same-sex marriage should be applauded not derided and other religious leaders should be encouraged to follow his lead. The current Marriage Act allows for marriages to be conducted by ministers of religion, according to the rules of their particular faith, and for secular marriage ceremonies conducted by a licensed, non religious, marriage celebrant. According to the Act, neither religious minister or celebrant can be compelled to conduct a marriage for any couple if they choose not to. Changing the Act to allow same-sex marriage would not force either to conduct same-sex marriages, but it would give them the choice to. Father Rod obviously understands this and does not want to stand in the way of same-sex couples getting married, even if he must remain bound by the rules of his church on the matter. Other religious leaders need to stop trying to impose their marriage rules upon those who choose not to be bound by them. Father Rod’s choice should be respected.
Just nitpicking, but there should be no [sic] – it’s a pun (CF the rite of marriage)
鈥渆veryone should have the rite [sic] to be married鈥�
Life is not black or white, all or nothing. Rod Bower seems a brave and thoughtful man, and is doing the best within the confines of his power to make a difference.
I like this quote. 鈥淧eople feel this is a contradiction. I don鈥檛, I鈥檓 part of a family and I like my family,鈥� he said.
鈥淓ven if I don鈥檛 agree with everything they say we have enough in common to keep us together.鈥�
I also don’t think he was minimising the marriage equality issue, but he has also got other injustices he needs to address as well.
Society as a whole needs someone like him in his position to keep alive all those issues.
Well done Mr Bower.
I’m not sure why your character is under attack in the comments here, Father Rob. I can understand your position, and I think you’re absolutely right that you can do more good within the church than outside it.
But I object to this quote: 鈥淚 know that for the people it effects personally it鈥檚 all consuming but it鈥檚 not the only issue we鈥檙e concerned with and, to be blunt, when people are committing suicide in detention camps there are other issues which are a little more pressing.”
Suggesting that we have “more pressing” issues is depressingly dismissive, and the same argument that has been regularly used against equality advocates, perhaps to shame us into silence, as though asking for equality is a selfish and cruel act that impacts on the well being of others.
Are we limited to addressing one social injustice at a time? Does someone maintain a list of ethical concerns, to which we should submit our case and quietly wait our turn?
And for the record, as I’m sure you’re aware, gay people have some of the highest rates of mental health issues, self-harm, homelessness and suicide among any demographic, thanks to vilification and marginalisation by the wider community.
I am hugely appreciative of your support. Your advocacy has been a positive influence, in a world that often overloads those of us on the fringes with negativity. But I won’t apologise for feeling that equality for myself and the people dear to me is more than an interesting little dinner table conversation.
Thank you Boon
I did put that very clumsily. you know when something comes out of your mouth and you just know that it isn’t just right. I was trying to illuminate the fact that there are a number of issues that take my time and attention. Anger is a very contagious emotion and I think I caught a bit from the person mentioned in the article. Sometimes it sneaks up on you and before you know it……I apologize for the insensitive way I formed that sentence as it does not truly reflect my views. Please forgive me. Fr Rod
When it comes to human rights and that deeply immutable need to be accepted and loved by our peers, our communities, our tribes and our nations, we’re walking territory governed by emotions, not logic or rationality. It’s difficult, if impossible, to stay perfectly measured and carefully considered at every turn. Especially in print, where we don’t have the benefit of body language and tone to help us understand intent.
I’m guilty of poorly chosen words more often than I would like :)
Thank you for the apology, though it isn’t needed. You do far more good for my place in the world than most.
Thank you for your kind understanding Boon :) Cheers. Rod
My armchair observation is Tony Abbott and Bill Shorten call Saudi Arabia friends, even though the government of Saudi Arabia will cut their heads off, if they walked up the street in a loving embrace and were thought to be gay. Some terrorist deserve our military and financial support if I believe Tony and Bill. These two poltical party leaders are spending over 100 billion at a time we are told about a crisis, to support countries that cut our heads off, or imprison us. It seems if you cut the heads off two heterosexual journalist, then that is called terrorism, but do it to GLBTI people, you could be considered allies and friends. We live in a mixed up fucked up world. Yet these parties draw support from the GLBTI card carrying folk. Mr Bower has decided rather then leave a church that has some homophobes who help draft laws to imprison us in Africa, he is using his position to fight for positive change within the Anglican Church. Mr Bower has done real damage to some of the hateful homophobes inside and outside if the church. Some would have us believe the church hates gays, but the truth is there are a range of opinions. Many, as the polls show, including Mr Bower, want to be able to marry gay people. His churches doctrine, for the moment, does not support it. He can get the sack and marry a gay couple, or stay and fight to end the suffering.
Equally, Penny Wong does not leave Labor, because her leader stacked the party with his Catholic faction who promised never to support equality, such as the SDA Union man from WA, Jo Bullock. Wong must have been in agony to sit through caucus meetings, where Gillard is saying gays should not marry because of her feminist beliefs, or because of her reading of the bible. Gillard denied the basic civil right of marriage to Penny Wong. Poor Penny, Bill Shorten says he supports equality to look progressive, but then relies on the support of the Catholic SDA Union who does not. When Tony Abbott announced another fifty million to help Malaysia to search for their plane, Malcolm Turnbull would have cringed. The country just lost a tactical submarine. Here is a country that imprisons GLBTI people for 7 years and rips the buttocks flesh off with cainning. No strings attached, Tony Abbott just transferred our taxes. Tony Abbott has no problem fucking over his sister of course. Christine can either fight for change within the Liberal Party, or leave.
Mr Bower has chosen to stand with us and fight for marriage equality within the church. He has made enemies who want to sack him because of this. It is his judgement to fight from within, and in the future that might change- personally I prefer he stays and fights. The late Angliacan Bishop of Gippsland, John Mc Intyre, traveled across Australia supporting Marriage Equality and trying to stop homophobia. I am so glad he did. Using the platform of the Anglican Church generated immense publicity and publicaly challenged the men within the church who sided with homophobes in places like Nigeria. Darren Chester, the local National Party member could no longer justify his position and say the church is against marriage equality, he now says to radio when asked, we are on a journey.
You can mock Bower, you can get enraged. Mr Bower has done more damage to the homophobes within the Anglican Church, then most. His signs out the front of the church, are the death of a thousand cuts for the homophobes. Surely as some of us support Labor or Liberal, some can also fight for change within the church? Not many of us are all or nothing, and Mr Bower is just as human as the rest of us living in a homophobic world. To Mr Bower I say welcome to the world of GLBTI politics, and a huge thank you. The reason passions run high is this is not an abstract debate, it is real and very ver personal.
never have i been more pissed off about being proven right
Honestly, this person is about as progressive as a brick. He is simply clever at advertising his own brand of religious stupid by witty and sometimes cute roadside MEMES. What actually does he do? Does he march for marriage equality? Does he write submissions for marriage equality? Does he do any act OTHER than post road side twitter memes?
Yes Rodney, actually I do much more than write roadside memes. I marched in this years Mardi Gras, speak at forums, preach at gay churches, and have conducted numerous media interviews. I welcome LGBTQIA people to my church and have spent much time and energy educating my congregation to do the same. I continue to advocate for the change in Canon Law within my own church, and believe I have been instrumental in changing the minds of many people in favour of marriage equality. This has come at a great personal cost. To be attacked by the very people I have risked my job to support is very wounding indeed. Fr Rod Bower.
Father Rod, the headline is sensationalist click-bait. As is the way with media today. You would be hard pressed to find an article published in the last year that didn’t take liberties with the context to imply melodrama.
Also, I wrote a longer reply in the comments, but “the people you have risked your job to support” account for at least 200,000 members of the Australian population. A few replies here do not represent that community.
Perhaps those replying are doing so emotionally. This is a charged issue for those of us who live with it day to day. Don’t be discouraged. There’s a lot of unresolved emotions in this discussion.
If you search for his name, you’ll find that Father Rob has, indeed, marched for marriage equality.
A bit sad really. A more accurate headline would have been “can’t” rather than “won’t”. The Star Observer would be well advised to explore peoples true agendas before publishing their questionable opinions.
Much as I admire your stance in terms of pushing for marriage equality, I think it needs to be said that “can’t” and “won’t” amount to the same thing here.
There is a huge difference between can’t and won’t.
EVERY marriage is performed under the laws of Australia which deffine the requirements for a celebrant. Basically there are 2 types – Civil Celebrant and Minister of religion. A minister of religion solemnises a marriage according to the “rites of (insert denomination)”. The Celebrant’s right to do this is controlled by the denomination in this case the Anglican Church.
Should the Church remove that right, then ANY marriage celebrated by Father Rod would not be legal.
As a catholic myself, you draw the line and a man and woman marriage is generally a safe and secure union. Sure gays have partnerships and what they do in private is their business but you can’t deny a child a secure environment having both male and female parent.
A “secure environment”? What are you implying? Children need loving, caring parents, and “having a male and female parent” is irrelevant. Abused children are overwhelmingly the victims of heterosexual men who have problems with alcohol and violence. Get the facts, lose the bigotry.
Oliver, my Lady and I already HAVE a child. Not being allowed to legally marry had no impact on that.