\u201cYou know, if you just hold still, your leg wouldn\u2019t get stuck in this elf stocking.\u201d <\/p>\n
I picked up a tiny green pointy-toed elf from the change table. His legs were kicking high. He giggled.<\/p>\n
I propped him up against his brother Beau who was decked out as a miniature Santa. I jumped around, taking happy snaps of elf boy and Santa baby. The boys were one and two years of age. <\/p>\n
Last weekend, we were at a work Christmas party for the kids. The mini men were dressed in normal T-shirt and shorts, though I wanted to put them in reindeer ears.<\/p>\n
A bell was tinkling and it got louder and closer. There was a firm grab of my shorts around my legs. I looked down and Beau was peering from behind my hip.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatchya doin\u2019 Beau?\u201d I stroked his head. \u201cIt\u2019s Santa, go and say hello.\u201d<\/p>\n
His head, with eyes still planted firmly on the red monster coming toward him, shook from side to side.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, what\u2019s the matter?\u201d I bobbed down and his bottom lip was quivering. <\/p>\n
His face was crimson from the pressure of blood rushing him. Either he was going to implode or fly away.<\/p>\n
\u201cI d-d-don\u2019t like Santa.\u201d I looked for Chick who was under Dawn\u2019s armpit, hiding.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally? You seem to like him when he drops off lots of presents.\u201d <\/p>\n
I laughed, I could still see him as Santa baby sitting on Santa\u2019s knee years ago.<\/p>\n
Later we were shopping when we heard bells pealing. The men stopped dead in their tracks and then flight took over and they bolted behind me. <\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t stop laughing (yes, not great parenting, I know) but we couldn\u2019t escape the Santa army. <\/p>\n
I did start imagining creepy Santas cornering us at all angles like zombie Clauses with drone elves, but right now I had to contend with frightened minis.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s alright guys,\u201d I said as we fled out the side of Myer. \u201cI\u2019m not keen on big, hairy men in tight red fur either.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cYou know, if you just hold still, your leg wouldn\u2019t get stuck in this elf stocking.\u201d I picked up a tiny green pointy-toed elf from the change table. His legs …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11204,6],"tags":[1608,3197],"class_list":["post-68012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinion","category-soapbox-opinion","tag-daddy-dearest","tag-john-meyer"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n