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Drag names — some say you have to receive it from someone else, that to name yourself is to be unlucky. We all know many who have been self-named and there is nothing wrong with them — well, on the surface there isn’t anything wrong with them.

Others use the old porn theory — your first pet’s name, followed by the first street you lived in. Sometimes this is successful but it’s more directed to the porn industry. I would have been Bonnie Cottonpatch, cute but more suited to a gingham dress on all fours being ridden by Ken Tucky than doing shows at the Shift.

An old girl once told me a good drag name should be funny the first time you hear it, then when you hear it again, it’s funnier. Wilma Fingerdoo always cracks me up, years after hearing it the first time.

Some of the new girls are coming up with some goodies. I laughed at Winnie Blue, partly because I have an aunt Winnie and my uncle used to smoke Winfield Blue. Sue Shi is also a laugh, so simple but still gets a giggle. Ida Slapda enters the room usually in the smallest of hair and the girliest of outfits, and straightaway you know the name suits the girl in the dress.

Some of the old girls have take on nee, which is placed after the name of a married woman to introduce her maiden name. So mine would be Maxi Shield nee Pad, which works on so many levels.

Some of the other girls who have started to use nee are Penny Tration nee Farthing, Tora Hymen nee Titoff, Vanity Fair nee Flap, Courtney Act nee Bikespokes.

I have heard of a fabulous new name I’m hoping will be picked up soon, Miss Carmel Toe. Please someone take her on, she is lonely and needs to dance. If someone decides to use Carmel please let me know. I would love to be there for her first outing.