Comments on: Totes cereal right now

By: Tom

Tom — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 22:11:32 +0000

This seems to be a bit of a gay rite of passage.
Everyone seems to date an older guy or two at first, then we move on to junkies (something for you to look forward to).
Guys in their 40’s still doing the clubs are not exactly what I’d call winners. Certainly not the kind of guys you want to take home to meet mum and dad.
You are at different stages of your lives.
You’re starting a career, he’s looking to end it.
You’re enjoying the scene, He should be looking to distance himself from it.
You look at suburbia as somewhere you escaped from, he’s starting to see it as inviting.
You will want sex on a regular basis, for him every now and then is fine.
He’s set in his ways, you’re still learning yours.
He (generally) has money, assets and super. You (generally) do not.
You like Lady GaGa, he still thinks ABBA is hip.
Am age difference means you’re worlds apart. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a bit of fun, but never take it too seriously.

By: Jesse Matheson

Jesse Matheson — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 21:54:00 +0000

Davidc – I was actually dating a guy that was around your age that believed we were at different stages in life. I’ve dated guys much older than 21. My main point was that from my experience my age has impeded me from entering a serious relationship with an older guy because they have his belief that younger men are mentally immature. No matter how much fun we have together..

Nico -honestly, if I felt that he just didn’t want to be with me I would totally concede. If someone doesn’t want to be with me then they have every right to walk out the door and I wouldn’t expect anything more. In this case, it really was that he felt my age was a problem. Which I found ridiculous. As for meeting guys at ARQ, it’s a shame that within the gay community, besides going to a social group, meeting someone randomly in public or online – meeting someone at a club/bar is the way to go..

Wayne – I totally understand where you are coming from. Honestly, my biggest fear is that my family won’t accept my partner if they are too old. But as my aunty said to me, “if you love them, and we can see that they love you, then we will love them too.”

Kevin – that sounds awesome. Stories like this give me hope :) xx

Ian – that sounds lovely

Allanj – glad you liked it Allan!!!! Xx

By: allanj

allanj — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 11:39:06 +0000

This article could not have been more accurate. I believe the older generation come to fast conclusions and assumptions about the younger generation. From a 20 year old to every older person out there: stop and listen before you make your mind up. We arent all party crazed-boozed up-drug taking-partying gays, some of us can hold conversations better then most of you older gen gays.

By: Ian

Ian — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 08:44:58 +0000

My boyfriend and I are a 17 year gap, he’s 26 and I’m 44. It’s been 5 years and we are fine together have more in common than not.
We use to go out more but now we tend to stay in more or to be social we go to theatre/movies etc with friends.

By: kevin

kevin — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 06:59:59 +0000

Me and my bf have been together almost 5 years and recently got engaged. We are 17 years apart I’m 24 and he is 41.

By: wayne

wayne — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 06:26:22 +0000

and the same can be asked on the reverse as well. i dated a young guy for 4 years and was great for the most of it. But society and our community at most seem to look down on that. what in reality does age really even matter. being at different points in your life is what makes things interesting .

By: Nico

Nico — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 06:20:16 +0000

Don’t lose heart … I’m one of several in my circle of friends who have younger boyfriends in long term relationships (tho not with 21 yr olds but a good 1 to 2 decade difference for each) – I’m going to go out on a limb here and say … that maybe he’s just not that into you anymore. But that’s ok … there are plenty out there who are (or will be) … you may just have to look for us somewhere else than Arq.

By: Davidc

Davidc — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 05:30:30 +0000

While some of your points are valid, I feel you’re ignoring a chunk of young gay people. I personally am settled in life, hardly go out, have a comfortable lifestyle, am self employed and hold several qualifications. I am only 21. I fit many of the frames you’ve set out as a virtue of ‘older’ people. Just because we’re not right under your nose, doesn’t mean we don’t exist.