Comments on: ‘Same rules for everyone’: growing up gay in the Chinese Australian community

By: pda

pda — Thu, 19 Oct 2017 22:55:20 +0000

I do agree that coming out has its risks which may differ from person to person, and a plan is very important for many people. self-protection, immediate support, someone you trust and are willing to pour out and things like these are so important. I say this based on my own experience, and from my own cultural background (being a Chinese, that is). You are very inspiring and very thoughtful – as you were mindful of how family members would feel about being gay and the judgement from the community. I hope your relationship will parents will get better as time goes, but I’m sure this shouldn’t be the homework you do alone. So, be patient with their progress (pace), find a way to talk through and allow this situation to fully make sense in a positive way in your heart, and don’t stop embracing who you are in your own (social/personal) space. Lots of parents who were never/hardly exposed to anything related to diversity absolutely need time. So, this is just a thought to share, it may be hard to understand if anyone from a different culture reads this. All the best, David. Thank you for being very brave and passionate and generous to share your story!

By: Ho

Ho — Sun, 15 Oct 2017 06:10:28 +0000

David, this story just resonates to me. It is very much the story of my life too. Being Chinese and gay has made me feel like I have to choose between one or the other, and both cannot coexist at the same time. I am kind of out to my mum, and she knows, but havent had an open conversation about it but attempted to without success because it broke her heart and finding it hard to accept the fact. When her friends often talks about their sons/daughters, they will ask her naturally about her son (ie me) getting marry and having kids, she just doesnt know how to answer it and without saying too much and revealing my sexuality. Within Chinese community, there are lot of comparison between one to another, your son has this, her son has that…. Therefore I havent tried to discuss it since with my mum. Dad knows nothing and I have no intention to tell him. I dont know whats worst being gay or being Chinese. The positive thing comes out of at least is I havent been asked to get marry.

By: Andrew Baker

Andrew Baker — Sat, 14 Oct 2017 12:46:04 +0000

David, thanks for sharing your story, it’s not just a coming out story for Asian Australians, but for everybody. I think you are wonderful, and your committment to our community, the family and friends that we choose, is remarkable.

Just keep being your wonderful self and enjoy your life, there’s more than enough love to go aaround.

By: Simon Wilson

Simon Wilson — Sat, 14 Oct 2017 02:36:52 +0000

Hey David,
I’m so sorry about your family and their ignorance but you are clearly a very strong, extremely handsome and most likely smart guy. I hope they have come around or will. You deserve much love. Really great article.

By: Dave

Dave — Thu, 12 Oct 2017 22:50:04 +0000

Maybe it’s just my ever-growing rage at the “statistical survey” imposed on Australia’s gay community but this article highlights to me just how ethical the Yes campaign has been.

The fact is that if we resorted to the base crap that the No campaign are resorting to, we’d be out there saying “Look around the world. Opposing gay marriage is a Muslim thing. It’s not an Australian thing. Don’t listen to the No mob, they’re just a bunch of sharia-hugging muslim apologisers”. And we’d be winning the popular vote as the Cronulla mob back Yes in droves.

Instead we’ve been ethical, we’ve tried to emphasise it’s about love and fairness, and I suspect we’re headed for a narrow loss to a bunch of lying desperado haters.