Samuel Barnett On ‘Feeling Afraid As If Something Terrible Is Going To Happen’ (And Why He Doesn’t Anymore)

Samuel Barnett On ‘Feeling Afraid As If Something Terrible Is Going To Happen’ (And Why He Doesn’t Anymore)
Image: Image: supplied

With Midsumma fast approaching, it’s time to get your tickets , and Samuel Barnett in Feeling Afraid As If Something Terrible Is Going To Happen is one you will not want to miss! 

Brought to you by the award-winning producers of Baby Reindeer and Fleabag, the show centres on a vulnerable 36-year old comedian, navigating the gay dating scene and the treacherous swamps of his own neuroses. When he meets the man of his dreams, is this a chance to be happy, or is something afoot? And is the audience’s laughter worth the price he’s willing to pay?

A Professional In His Prime

The Star Observer sat down with the show’s star, Samuel Barnett, for a chat that reveals the show’s mysterious themes, miraculous origins and absolutely magnetic leading man.

Audiences may recognise Barnett from TV’s Penny Dreadful or Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency or from his now 20-year-old Tony and Olivier Award–nominated performance in The History Boys, where he originated the character of Posner and reprised the role for the celebrated film adaptation.

He’s come a long way since playing the love-struck teenager – and now, after a celebrated and award-winning run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and at the Bush Theatre in London, he’s coming to Melbourne, Sydney and Adelaide. 

Theatre Tailor-Made

Written for Barnett during Covid by British-Brazilian-Australian writer Marcelo dos Santos, Feeling Afraid blurs the lines between stand-up comedy performance and play.

Despite reviews championing his comedy chops, Barnett is quick to clarify that he’s “first and foremost, and actually only, an actor… I’m in no way a comedian. So this has been, like, one of the most challenging jobs I’ve ever done.” 

Image: supplied

“It Feels Glorious… To Be Fully Myself”

Both actor and character are, however, out and proud, despite Barnett being given instructions to be publicly closeted.

“In America, I was told ‘don’t talk about your sexuality.’ In fact, I was literally told ‘we’ll do the Jodie Foster-style press where it’s just not mentioned.”

“I never stuck to that. I’ve only ever been any good at, I can’t really seem to manage to be anything other than my authentic self. I’ve never really been able to cover it.”

And now, 20 years later, Barnett says “it feels glorious to be able to talk about it in interviews like this and be fully myself.”

The world’s attitude to gay characters has changed a lot in 20 years, but so has Barnett, and with it, the skills he has to bring those characters to life.

“I wasn’t a particularly happy person 20 years ago” he says, but, “the happier I’ve become, the more therapy I’ve had, the more work I’ve done on myself, the more fully me I’ve become, the better I’ve become as an actor… because I have more access to myself. So for me, in a kind of full circle moment, it feels gorgeous to be playing this at my time of life.”

“Being Queer As A Human Being”

The character of ‘the comedian’ may be openly gay, but he’s still “insecure, uptight [and] neurotic”, which Barnett says is also a unique pleasure.

Portrayals of queer characters today allows us “to be fully rounded human beings”, unlike in the past when “we were screwed up and we were going to die young… and none of us could have happy relationships”, or more recently when “it went so far the other way – that all queer people were unicorns and magical and perfect”.

What Barnett relishes is the opportunity to play characters that show all sides of the queer experience; “We’re allowed to be human… We can be fully our authentic selves. We can also show the trauma that a lot of us have been through in terms of having to be the class clown, having to wear that vulnerability as a shield and a shell, having to put yourself down and make yourself smaller in order to be safe. We can show that side as well. We can show how magnificent we are and how neurotic we still are. Basically, we’re allowed to be human. And I’m really enjoying that. I’m really enjoying owning being queer as a human being.”

Image: supplied

Queer Audiences A Rare Treat

While society has come a long way, there’s nothing like performing to an audience of your peers, which is what makes this particular Midsumma so special: it’s the first time the show’s been performed to primarily queer audiences.

“I was so pleased when I was told it was part of [Midsumma], because… that’s the audience we didn’t necessarily find in London”, and even during the initial Edinburgh Fringe Festival run “you could always tell when it was a very queer audience and equally you could always tell when it was a very straight audience.”

With a predominantly queer audience “you’re not having to explain or defend yourself. That seems radical to me”.

But that kind of acceptance hasn’t always been the norm – onstage or in life – “because that’s trauma for you, isn’t it? It’s always slightly in the back of my mind about just being careful, just watching who’s around as you walk down the street. And it’s the same in a theatre”.

Especially for a show that blurs the line between stand-up comedy and play, “there is sometimes heckling” but that with a queer and ally audience, there’s “a whole other layer of ease and comfort and freedom.”

So audiences at Midsumma won’t just be treated to Barnett at his peak confidence as a performer, but with his dream co-star, because “the audience is the other character on stage for me.”

Although, don’t fear, he’s quick to add that “there’s no audience participation, which people are very pleased about.”

“It’s All A Nice Surprise”

When asked what audiences should know before the show, Barnett says that while he’s very grateful for good reviews, they often give the twist away, and should be avoided if viewers want the full experience because “it really lessens the impact of an audience seeing it for the first time… just go in just knowing nothing and it’s all a nice surprise”.

For audiences who are looking for a fun evening with friends and family who might not identify as queer, Barnett says “yes, it’s got loads of queer content, but it’s such a human story, this thing of relationships, insecurity, looking for love, sabotaging it, getting it right, getting it wrong, the truths that we hide from ourselves, what we reveal to other people, what we think we’re not revealing to other people, but they can actually see. And I think all of us, regardless of gender and sexuality, have really connected with it. And also it’s a joy because alongside all of that, it’s really funny.”

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