‘Puppy play’ and mental health in the queer community
THE core rule of puppy play is that there are no rules.
Consent must be omnipresent however one鈥檚 sexuality, gender, or proclivities in the bedroom have no bearing on how one chooses to adopt a pup persona and engage in the subculture.
Despite its growing prevalence in queer communities around the world, puppy play is still shrouded in misconception and stigma.
Some deride it as akin to bestiality, others regard it with a mild 鈥榮ex panic鈥� that would sit comfortably in the 1950s, and many have never heard of it.
But for those who don fake dog ears, knee pads, and a tail, puppy play is not only an entirely safe and consensual form of self-expression 鈥� it also alleviates existing mental health issues such as stress, anxiety, and depression.
When Melbourne-based Taylor Cook first heard about puppy play from a friend he approached it with trepidation. His first experience was a tentative one, and it was solitary.
鈥淓ven by myself I was too shy to bark and howl for a while, but I finally started doing it and now I can鈥檛 stop,鈥� he said.
鈥淭hat first time I found it quite cathartic 鈥� you know that feeling of freedom when you see a wolf howling at the moon? It can be 100 times more freeing when you鈥檙e doing it yourself.
鈥淚鈥檝e had times I鈥檝e been absolutely crook with a chest infection and I鈥檓 there growling and howling in my bedroom and even though it鈥檚 not a painkiller it made me feel better.鈥�
One could list all the titles and kinds of 鈥榩ups鈥� out there ad nauseum and it still mightn鈥檛 scratch the surface, so to speak.
It falls under the broad umbrella of BDSM and often sees a person take on the role of a puppy for a period of time. The experience can be solo, social, or sexual, but it鈥檚 only limited by the desire of the person engaging in it.
Some pups even have 鈥榟andlers鈥� who act as a person would with a biological dog or 鈥榖io-pup鈥�.
However, unlike the more traditional dominant and submissive or daddy and son role play, puppy play leaves more room for spontaneity with those engaging in it getting into the mindset of a pup and only thinking about a split second ahead, if at all.
Cook, who identifies as an Icelandic Sheepdog and goes by the name Tycho when 鈥榩upping out鈥� said a common misconception about the subculture is that it鈥檚 all about sex.
In fact, he believes the majority of those who engage in puppy play do so for social reasons rather than sexual.
He often helps to co-ordinate and be part of 鈥楳osh鈥� events, which involve heading to the park or an empty warehouse for a few hours with 20 鈥� 30 people to engage in social puppy play, allowing the attendees to be in a safe and uninhibited space.
The events are run by the Victorian Pups and Handlers (VIC-PAH).
鈥淔or the majority of pups it鈥檚 purely social 鈥� the focus is on the headspace,鈥� he said.
鈥淚t鈥檚 about the ability to somehow box up all your stress and worries for the day and put it to the side and be in the moment.
鈥淎t a Mosh we鈥檙e in an empty warehouse with foam mattresses, squeaky toys, and a bunch of sofas. People come sit down and watch or chat to other pups and handlers, or get down on all fours and pup out.鈥�
Cook added that when pups get together, human identity markers often become unimportant.
鈥淭he greatest thing about being a pup is that when you鈥檙e a pup, you鈥檙e a pup,鈥� he said.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e not a woman, a guy, not gay, or straight. I鈥檓 sure there are pups that exhibit those personalities but if I鈥檓 on the Mosh floor pupping out and a woman comes up to me, I鈥檓 going to treat her the same as a gay pup.鈥�
Cook runs with his own pack of pups, one of many in VIC-PAH. He鈥檚 the leader or 鈥榓lpha鈥� pup, and his pack consists of himself, two 鈥榖eta鈥� pups, and an 鈥榦mega鈥� pup, considered the most submissive of the group.
While puppy play is largely social and can provide a welcome release from the day鈥檚 stresses or anxieties, Cook said it has also helped many people with existing mental health issues.
And for members of the LGBTI community who are at a disproportionate risk of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, this is particularly salient.
鈥淢ental health wise it鈥檚 helped me immensely,鈥� he said.
鈥淔rom when I was homeless and suffering post-traumatic stress and depression, along with anxiety disorders 鈥� I find that if I don鈥檛 pup out over long periods of time that will stress me out.
鈥淚 can have a day or evening of pupping out by myself or with others and I feel that much calmer.
鈥淭here鈥檚 quite a common theme that people with a high-stress job that pup out find themselves super relaxed and chill.鈥�
Queensland-based Benjamin Bullivant has two pup personas: Pup Scout and Pup Spanky.
The former is a purely social persona, one that allows him to get into the headspace of a pup, while the latter is open to both socialising and sex.
鈥淗eadspace pups only have the headspace of a pup, while there are those that are very sexual but that鈥檚 not just penetration 鈥� it could also be bondage or discipline,鈥� he said.
鈥淚t depends on the situation. In public situations in headspace mode you might be interacting with the crowd where I鈥檓 with my handler, but if I鈥檓 wearing leather it might be my sexual side which is more fluid.
鈥淚 identify as a leather pup so I wear leather, but you have other pups out there who might not wear any gear. It depends on people鈥檚 personas.鈥�
As a result of the misinformation or preconceived ideas around puppy play, those in the community both here and abroad face regular stigma.
Bullivant said since first engaging in the subculture five to six years ago he encountered discrimination, something that has persisted even now.
鈥淨uite regularly even now, some people can be quite rude about it, where others are more curious and inquisitive and don鈥檛 even realise they could be saying things that are offensive,鈥� he said.
鈥淏ut there are also people that see it as bestiality or something and that can be downright rude and discriminatory.
鈥淚nstead of judging something first, you should think to yourself: your kink mightn鈥檛 be my kink, and that doesn鈥檛 matter.鈥�
He added that times have changed substantially.
鈥淭here鈥檚 a lot less stigma than when I first entered puppy play because a lot of people said it had to do with bestiality when it has nothing to do with that,鈥� he said.
鈥淚t鈥檚 quite a release, it鈥檚 almost like a meditational release, and it鈥檚 very relaxing.
鈥淚t鈥檚 about being amongst your own company and other鈥檚 company, so there鈥檚 stigma there, but there鈥檚 still stigma for a lot of different fetishes.鈥�
Cook reflected similar sentiments, highlighting the main problem with people equating puppy play with bestiality.
鈥淚f you try to approach someone in our community thinking they want to get fucked by a dog, they鈥檙e probably going to throw up,鈥� he said.
鈥淵ou also have those that have heard about it in the past that believe it鈥檚 all about domination, submission, and humiliation, which was only true up until about 20 years ago when the community started shifting.
鈥淭he past two Pride marches in Melbourne have seen parents bring their small kids up to us so they could pat us 鈥� responses like that show it can be purely social.鈥�
While the spectrum of puppy play is as vast as it is diverse, Cook said at the end of the day it鈥檚 about giving people an outlet to forget any troubles they may be facing.
鈥淚t鈥檚 a way for people to express part of the personality they have that they don鈥檛 normally have the opportunity to express,鈥� he said.
鈥淲hen I鈥檓 on the floor I can parcel up my anxiety and depression and leave it to the side, giving my heart and brain a break.鈥�
