My Grandpa Told Me He Was Sure He Was Gay: Podcaster Reveals A Secret Gay Love Story
Image: Samaan Ashram with his grandfather late Dave Fischer.
It was a love story that remained hidden for over over seven decades, till a man’s grandson discovered it years after his death.聽
US-based independent filmmaker and podcaster Samaan Ashrawi shared the most incredible gay love story for pride month on social media – that of his late grandfather. The post, that quickly raked up over 300,000 likes in four days, started with a secret that Ashrawi’s grandfather Dave Fisher shared with him.聽
“My Grandpa Dave told me he was sure he was gay when he was moving into his dorm room freshman year of college and there was a boy 鈥渨ith the prettiest eyes鈥�,” Ashrawi posted in a thread on Twitter.聽
Grandpa And This Guy Were In Love
His name was John Kander. After college, John, along with his partner Fred Ebb, would go on to compose two of the greatest Broadway musicals of all-time.
— Sama鈥檃n Ashrawi (@SamaanAshrawi)
The podcaster learnt about the identity of the man, after his grandfather’s death and so began an amazing journey of research and discovery.聽“After Grandpa passed, I learned from my mother who that boy was. His name was John Kander”.聽
For those who may not instantly recognise the name, his work may offer some clue.聽American composer Kander and his songwriting partner lyricist Fred Enn, wrote the scores for over 15 Broadway musicals, including Chicago and Cabaret.
The duo are best known for writing the theme song for the 1977 Martin Scrocese movie New York, New York. The song was originally sung by and picturised on gay icon Liza Minelli, before Frank Sinatra immortalised it.聽
They also wrote the theme song for a 1977 Scorsese film called 鈥楴ew York, New York;鈥� originally sung by Liza Minnelli, Frank Sinatra would immortalize it a few years later.
— Sama鈥檃n Ashrawi (@SamaanAshrawi)
The Bookcase And A Song
The story continued when Ashrawi made another discovery during the pandemic. “I always thought that was so cool, that grandpa and this guy Kander were in love, but during the pandemic I noticed something on a bookcase.”
Ashrawi said he had walked past the bookcase over a dozen times a day over the years. “Why had I never noticed this 7鈥� vinyl poking out of one of the shelves? I pulled it out. It was a custom pressing and written in pencil was: 鈥淥ur Boy,鈥� the year, 鈥�1951,鈥� and the composer鈥檚 name: ‘John Kander’.”
It was a bookcase I walked by a dozen times a day, maybe more. Why had I never noticed this 7鈥� vinyl poking out of one of the shelves? I pulled it out. It was a custom pressing and written in pencil was: 鈥淥ur Boy,鈥� the year, 鈥�1951,鈥� and the composer鈥檚 name: 鈥淛ohn Kander.鈥�
— Sama鈥檃n Ashrawi (@SamaanAshrawi)
Ashrawi’s mother told him that it was a song that John had written for his grandfather. “I put the record on and listened鈥� some very moody piano solos, it sounded theatrical. I needed to know more.聽 I went online, was John even still alive?聽 To my amazement, the answer was yes! 94 years old.”聽
Ashrawi then did something incredible, he tried to reach out to John. “I already knew I wouldn鈥檛 be able to find an email for John so I got in touch with a relative of his and a few days later I had an email from the man himself.”
Our Boy
The email had more details about what Ashrawi thought was just a song written for his grandfather. “He (John) told me the record we have isn鈥檛 just a song, it鈥檚 a whole entire one-act musical called 鈥�Our Boy鈥� that he wrote at the age of 22; and not only that, he wanted my grandfather to be the lead It was a play about a boxer grappling with the existential feelings of defeat.”
Then John sent me some photos of my grandfather that we鈥檇 never seen before. There was my grandpa, Dave Fisher, in his shiny boxing shorts, looking young and curious and serious all at once. How incredible 馃槶馃槶馃槶
— Sama鈥檃n Ashrawi (@SamaanAshrawi)
John then sent Ashrawi some photos of his grandfather from the past that the family had never seen before. “There was my grandpa, Dave Fisher, in his shiny boxing shorts, looking young and curious and serious all at once. How incredible.”
The story had a sweet ending when Ashrawi and his family met John in New York and shared happy memories of his grandfather.聽
“In New York just recently, my family (minus one sister) went to meet up with John, now 95, in person. My mother hadn鈥檛 seen him since she was a child,” said Ashrawi.聽
Over lunch (and an Arnold Palmer) John opened up about their relationship. 鈥淲e were honest with each other,鈥� John told us. 鈥淣ot in terms of not lying, but honest about who we were and who we were becoming. [Your grandfather] was a great gift to me.鈥�
The End! (for now 馃敭)
— Sama鈥檃n Ashrawi (@SamaanAshrawi)
“Over lunch (and an Arnold Palmer) John opened up about their relationship. 鈥淲e were honest with each other,鈥� John told us. 鈥淣ot in terms of not lying, but honest about who we were and who we were becoming. [Your grandfather] was a great gift to me.鈥� The End! (for now)”,聽 Ashrawi concluded.
The podcaster, in response to one social media user, emphasised why such stories were important for the LGBTQI community. “Whether we share it publicly or not, preserving the stories and memories of our family and friends (and especially elders) is some of the most vital work we can do in our lives and is wholly rewarding on its own.”
