Comments on: Should older gay guys go home and leave clubbing to the youth?

By: Jordon

Jordon — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 13:23:50 +0000

I’m 35 and just quietly I’ve had more action in the last year then I did in all of my twenties. I guess now I’m just more comfortable with myself and that confidence attracts guys. I’m glad I’m not a jailbait twink anymore because when I was my options were pretty limited guys would only want to snog me not marry me so now I do the same. It’s hard finding someone my own age on the same level and the guys I meet who are, like me have a multitude of options. I mean really, under 30’s are the guys guys like me only want for sex and ironically it’s the under 30’s who are stalking me for a relationship. Go figure. So to deprive the under 30’s the pleasure of meeting me in a club and experiencing a real man, if only for a night, would not only be an injustice, but also a harsh sentence if the only thing clubs these days offered were inexperience, instability and immaturity. I’ll probably still be hitting clubs until I find the guy I want to settle down with and hope that guy is over 30 and is waiting at stonewall or arq for me. But until then I’m happy to take a Twinkie home do him then throw him out in the morning. I just hope he’s experienced enough in club culture to deal with being tossed aside like an old used play thing

By: Wayne Daubney

Wayne Daubney — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 09:07:48 +0000

One day Dalton Heinrich will grow up. The article clearly shows his immaturity, and his ageist attitude.

Us, “older folks” are the ones that were out there fighting for the rights you enjoy today; and in many cases still are. And since when did our clubs have an ageist agenda?

Although I don’t go out clubbing as much as I did in my younger days, I still enjoy a night out occasionally. And so many of the younger ones looking for a Daddy (not sugar Daddy) are glad that us older guys are out and about. I have a sex life that rivals the sex life I had in my 20’s. I’m now in my early 50’s and still look hot to some. And so many of the “younger generation” seek out us older guys as we are far more sexually experienced than twinks his age; who while looking youthful are boring in bed.

By: Condy Rice

Condy Rice — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 06:29:16 +0000

What planet is this guy living on? His internalised homophobia is coming across loud and clear. Only people that hate themselves could possibly write such a thing.
It’s pretty disappointing you even chose to publish his tripe. Thoughts and opinions such as his are more suited to the Daily Trashograph.
If your (online) editor had any sense they’d have told him to fuck off instead of giving his thoughts oxygen.
Free press, open argument, right to free speech, inviting comment, blah blah.
Bullshit.
Have some backbone and extinguish fires like this before they begin.
You’ve got George Brandis Syndrome.

By: James

James — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 06:10:34 +0000

Oh and I forgot to add – there’s a very wise saying which sums up this conundrum perfectly, which Dalton may want to remember at some point in his future…

“We don’t stop having fun because we get old, we get old because we stop having fun!”

I’m still having fun. And that includes, clubs, pubs, bars, dance parties and any gig I might choose to go to… (with or without his “permission”!)

By: James Houghton

James Houghton — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 06:05:00 +0000

Clearly Heinrich is someone with age issues of his own. Wonder what he’s afraid of? Or maybe he was molested by a much older man and is now afraid of older people? Who knows. And I was also almost going to say ‘who cares’ – but in fact, I do. And many of my friends (of all ages!) We care because this form of internalised gay homophobia is played out in so many aspects of queer culture. From the adverts in magazines to the promotion of venues, gigs and parties all over the world.

Whenever a promoter wants to put his “event” on the map, it’s always a young, hot, handsome, fit, sexy looking model that is used. And the sad fact is that, as with the ultra skinny, always beautiful, always gorgeous models used in women’s magazines and advertising campaigns, this is actually VERY VERY FEW of the real people, in the real world.

From the pic ture in this article, it’s clear that Heinrich is pretty, young and has enough money to spend on clothes and grooming culminating in him looking very attractive. However, this isn’t the case for most people.

I think perhaps this pretty young thing needs to invest some of the money he’s spending on his appearance and socialising on some counselling. His view of the world is rather screwed up. Or he might just wait until he himself is in his late 30’s, 40’s or even (heaven forbid) his 50’s. Cos lord knows, by then he’s going to need it.

By: Benjamin

Benjamin — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 06:00:18 +0000

Time to worry about your own life. It’s a big diverse community with room for everyone.

By: Sean Knight

Sean Knight — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 01:29:34 +0000

Unfortunately this misguided boy is shallow and ignorant. His other blog posts are equally vacuous. I think his website just lets him post crap to draw attention to the site, due to the “controversy” generated by his stupid, annoying comments.

By: MIKEY

MIKEY — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 22:03:55 +0000

“its time to grow up” Hmmm I would say that there is a few of the OLDER gay nightclubbers that could dance him clean off his feet. I enjoy a good night out as it is a way to release all the good feeling through the sound and beats of music. Nothing better than coming of the dance floor after a few hours of dancing in the “zone”.

By: Anth

Anth — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 14:30:45 +0000

There’s so much wrong with this, it’s hard to know where to begin…

First, this guy is seriously suggesting people have no right to a social life after 30? Geez, life’s barely begun at 30. Straight people have countless venues, LGBT peeps have few. Should 31 year olds suddenly start hanging out at local straight bars? Only if they want to. Otherwise, deal with different ages at gay bars and clubs! Wasn’t growing up with discrimination enough?

Regarding the “Peter Pan” syndrome, it’s easy for a young guy who’s grown up in a relatively liberal environment (created, incidentally, by his older forbears) to fail to get the deprivation experienced by some as teens in previous decades, other regions or conservative families. Delayed teen experience plays out later in life.. So? You want to deprive these people of socialising yet again? Why should you care?

As for the comments about “haunting the shadows”, at what exact age do one’s feelings become caricature’s, no longer worthy of respect or dignity? Only some deserve to experience fun, love, happiness or simple flirting? That sounds disturbingly like what the homophobes say. Not to mention that not all people over 30 are socialising to pick up, or are interested in under 30’s. And if they are? Many under 30’s are interested in over-30’s… WTF does it matter anyway? Viva diversity! If you’re not into someone, just keep walking. Or make it clear you’re not into them and become friends. I genuinely respect the over-30’s who go out, given there are, unfortunately, plenty of young guys out there with attitudes like Heinrich’s.

By: Lawrence

Lawrence — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 14:18:29 +0000

I am 55+ and I still occasionally go out to clubs and bars etc. I’m going to continue enjoying my life as I see fit. If you are offended by the sight of me then may I suggest you look elsewhere. HOW VERY DARE YOU!!! kisses

By: Gerard

Gerard — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 09:27:11 +0000

I wish for you that you never experience hateful, hurtful, inconsiderate and bigoted attitudes others experience in the world.

By: You're Revolting

You're Revolting — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 06:51:37 +0000

You look 30+ mate. Take away all that airbrush magic and you are most likely more average than the men you are trying to criticise.

YOU ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH UNIFICATION WITHIN THE GAY COMMUNITY!

You’re a joke!!

By: Perkin Warbeck

Perkin Warbeck — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 04:38:59 +0000

What a vapid, insipid twat.

Wonder if he will take his own advice? Doubt it. Looks like he is already a “Lost Boy”

By: David

David — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 02:37:21 +0000

I don’t often comment on a lot of blogs/articles on the net but I thought this topic was quite interesting.
I’m now 34 and I’m often told by people older than myself that I’m still just a baby and I still have so much to do. When do I get to a point that I’m no longer a baby?
When I first starting clubbing around the age of 17, I often found the guys in their 30’s or older much more appealing than other guys my age. They were my role models. Some of my closest friends during those years were much older than me and I learnt a lot from them and about the community I was trying to become a part of. I was grateful for them because of their knowledge, kindness and for the work they did in making it ok for me to be myself without fear of being attacked or arrested if I kissed a guy on the street.
I occasionally go out now, nowhere near as much as I used to, and I realise now that I am the older guy. I don’t prey on young gay men, nor have an interest in them. I just enjoy the odd night out and having a dance. I do see the club scene as very much a place for the youth but there is always room for us oldies too.
In a community that I already see so segregated sometimes, why would we want to make it worse?

By: stan

stan — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 00:44:06 +0000

I’m 51 years old. I go out every couple of weeks to a gay bar to meet with friends and socialize. Occasionally I take my daughter with me. I don’t go out looking to hook up. I go out to enjoy connecting with my community. I am an elder in the community and proud of it. I am a mature gay man. A survivor of sorts. In my humble opinion the ‘Peter Pan’ syndrome referred to occurs precisely because there is a lack of visible presence of older mature gay men in the community. Young men need older men to walk with them if they are going to grow up and become mature adults. Young men do not need older men preying on them and taking advantage of their youth and naivety. So many older gay men DO stay home and enjoy their dinner parties and social lives away from the community. I firmly believe the community misses out by not having a broad cross section of age groups represented. I am not afraid to grow up. I am grateful for my years of experience. I personally feel a sense of responsibility to be that good, healthy, safe, sane, older gay man to model what is possible and support those who are finding their way from gay boys to men. Clearly our blogger is still very much a ‘golden boy’. We older, wiser ‘gray men’ need to have some compassion for his youth and give him a friendly clip around the ears. If we are not active participants in the community there will be no one to do this act of service for him and he may well never grow into the man he deserves to be.

By: Matt

Matt — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 22:56:13 +0000

It seems Heinrich has not been to any regular straight club, full of 40+ men trying to pick up 20something girls.
It’s not a gay thing, its a human thing.
I am over 40 and till go out clubbing, however I am not attracted to young men under 30. Funnily enough I like men my own age. And the operative word is “men”, not boys like Heinrich who have a hell of a lot of growing up to do.
Get a life, get some acceptance for one day you will be over 30.

By: Jase

Jase — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 22:54:24 +0000

I have mixed feelings about Heinrich’s piece. He wrote a somewhat longer follow up–an acknowledgement that he had hit a nerve. In the newer blog, he’s far more qualified in his observations (and more defensive). There he frankly backtracks, and says he “endorses” older gay men at clubs as “models” for younger gays. It strikes me that he wants it both ways and he’s a confused young man. As a 40something myself, I do believe he had a valid point somewhere amongst all this generalization. Maybe when he’s older, he’ll be better able to express it.

By: Ivan

Ivan — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 16:24:14 +0000

Too many homonormative pills? Don’t worry, he’ll sleep them off.

By: Peter McKENNITT - HARPER

Peter McKENNITT - HARPER — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 16:07:18 +0000

In reply to Chris. It is a perfect replay, thank you !!

By: Brendan Burke

Brendan Burke — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 15:59:50 +0000

ONE of the things I’ve always admired about the LGBTIQ community and the majority of Gay or ‘Gay-Friendly’ clubs is that they’ve seemed less prone to ANY form of discrimination. At least that’s been my experience. When I read the blog post in question I quickly dismissed it as naive, immature and completely misguided based solely on one immature individuals personal preferences. Thoughts like this are dangerous. This is where it starts, where does it stop? Weight? Gender? Colour? Vocation? Bank balance? Height? SEXUALITY??! Isn’t this the type of thought process our community has been fighting against for so long?!

Grow up and accept those around you and appreciate that we ALL have our reasons for being out clubbing, irrespective of whatever label you choose to brand those around you with. People falling into a particular age bracket not your thing? Fine, no biggie, don’t slip them your moby number then! It’s pretty simple, even for the simple!

Hopefully one day you’ll look back on your little outburst and have one of those ‘holy fuck what WAS I thinking’ moments. And who knows, maybe you will have matured enough by then to bust out a public apology. I just hope it’s BEFORE you hit 30! lol

*gets off soap box and gets back getting his ‘over-30-year-old’ ass ready for a night on the town with people who appreciate him for him and respect his right to be there!*

*rant ends*